.@anthonyweiner - I would have probably chosen to make my head smaller than my torso, but that’s a personal choice for @anthonyweiner, who today decided to get back on that proverbial horse named Twitter and give it another shot. That pun just came out and I didn’t even mean it to.
In case you have forgotten or lost your memory falling of the Twitter horse, Weiner resigned from his Congressional seat in New York last year after sending a cock shot intended to be a DM to a college student to his tens of thousands of followers as a regular tweet. Lesson 1) Learn how fucking Twitter works. Technically yes, a “direct message” and a tweet are both messages sent directly to people. However, option A is direct to the young girl you are trying to seduce via peen pics, while option B is direct to…all your followers. When in doubt, select option A. In life and on the SATs.
Weiner is now back in the game, exciting his new followers (just over 5,000 as of now) with fun links to his policy papers, indicating that his new social media policy is “Be the boringest one.” Based off his understanding of the general mechanics of Twitter, this seems about right.
If he really does want to run for mayor, like everyone thinks is this ultimate plan he needs to step up his game. I would like to suggest the following options: 1. Constant JibJabs of himself, preferably set to disco. 2. Constant cock shots. 3. Twitter contest to name his balls. He will have to nominate them as campaign finance advisors. 3. Cage fight a leopard if he gets 100,000 followers.
That’s just a quick brainstorm, Weiner, but feel free to shoot me a DM if you need more ideas.