I don’t care how cold it is. In fact, I wish it were colder so you would all turn into cat popsicles. Good luck with that one, bears.
Cats suck. There is a scientific link between cat affinity and an affection for an inflatable wife-doll and/or QVC reruns. And in France, they seem to have bred the feral cats to be tres merde. Maybe they’re pissed that the gays can get married now. Or maybe they’re pissed that they’re cats. Either way. They are pissed. And they aren’t afraid to show it.
So, they do things like attack innocent people and poodles walking down the rue. A woman was casually walking her dog when they came across a pack of cats - 6 of whom decided to vent their frustration upon the lady and her pet, knocking her over, biting the shit out of her, and allegedly piercing an artery. So basically, a living nightmare. A French veterinary specialist claims that this attack in no way means that cats are the new “zombies of the apocalypse”. Clearly, French veterinarians are not well versed in the signs of a zombie apocalypse.
Here’s one: EIGHT THOUSAND feral cats are born in France. E.v.e.r.y. DAY.
Here’s another: Cats kill 1.4 -3.7 billion birds every year.
Want some more? Cats can jump 5 feet high. They sweat through their paws. Their eyes are the biological equivalent of flashlights.
To further compound the zombie theory, the first cat ever sent into space was from France. And she survived. To move back to France. And have the estimated 100 kittens a female cat can bear in a lifetime.
Are cat zombies immune to catnip?