I bet you would. Except now the CDC wants to say you can’t, because you’re a raging whore/manwhore. Nobody wants whore lungs implanted in them. Death is clearly a better option. Then you can at least make it to heaven.
A new proposal from the CDC lays out a plan in which people who have not been monogamous in the previous 12 months would be considered high-risk donors, likely to transmit HIV or Hep B or C, and be submitted to higher levels of testing and scrutiny before their inner parts can go to save someone else’s life.
Besides trying to weed out all the slut kidneys, the doctors at the CDC really are trying to help out the people in need. “It’s geared for the patient so the patient knows as much as they can about the organ being transplanted in them,” says Dr. Matthew J. Kuehnert. If I’m about to turn into a vegetable on an operating table, I would really like to know if the heart I’m about to get comes from a dude who has banged three girls in the course of a year. Top priority. And if I’m someone who has been viciously attacked by their pet chimpanzee and no longer has a face, you better believe I’m hoping that I get the face of someone who can have a lot of sex. With humans.
Another issue this raises is if you’re donating to your family, while you’re still alive. Hey Mom, I would love to give you my kidney, but I’ve been having a LOT of sex lately…maybe ask Dad? Oh…right.
