Christmas lights: the new face of “psychological warfare.” At least if you’re a North Korean. Because being forced to see the shiny lights of your neighbors holiday celebration is mentally troubling, as is crippling hunger and economic depression, but the Christmas lights are the more immediate issue.
South Korea is planning on erecting a Christmas tree-shaped and lighted tower near the border with North Korea. Dear Leader and his pals have decided this is not cool. It might make the peasant North Koreans realize what they’re missing - lighted towers! And revolt.
The lights can be seen from several cities and peasant huts in the North, which is a problem since it spreads a “Christian message” across the secular North Korean state. If I saw a lighted Christmas tree, I would seriously start to question my Godless beliefs. Lights?! In the shape of a cone? All of a sudden it makes sense..there was a baby immaculately concepted by a Christian God! And I think there were also three kings and maybe a manger? Seas got parted? Red ones? It’s all coming back to me. Where’s the nearest church? Time to pray for the demise of our parka-loving leader. Amen.
