As useful as this may be to humanity, since parasols don’t just balance themselves, it turns out that dolphins can be used to serve a higher purpose. And I don’t mean jumping through hoops or balancing people on their noses or sustaining the rainbow world of Lisa Frank. I mean detecting mines in the ocean, specifically in the Strait of Hormuz so the Iranians don’t bleed the world of all our oil.
We’ve got dolphins,” says retired admiral Tim Keating, articulating the American military strategy for the Northern Hemisphere. Finally, I have faith in the United States Navy. This is way better than submarines. Since dolphins have killer sonar, they can detect the small floating mines from far away. If they get confused and swim into them, they can also accidentally explode the mines/themselves. But don’t tell PETA. They’re already pissed off enough that dolphins can’t fit into suits of human skin. It’s only fair right?
